I inserted my finger in my anus for pleasure for the first time at 14, did I break my anus?

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I am a 14 year old boy and I am a Catholic. I washed and cleaned my finger just by cleaning it with soap and water and inserted it in my anus to have pleasure. This was my first time and I felt really bad and disgusting because I dislike masturbating even though it happened often. I feel like I expanded my anus and not a virgin anymore but I'm scared to tell my mom even though she knows it's ok and I cried to her. I don't want to do this every again but I'm afraid something will happen to my anus either by expanding it or adding bacteria even if i cleaned my hands and not a virgin anymore. What do I do, I am very scared! Right now it feels weird inside my anus, like I still want to insert my finger which is scaring me because I felt disgusting doing it, is it a cause of bacterial infection or did I expand my anus?

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    She didn't know about this since she left the house and I was alone, I'm scared to tell her, what do I do?

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